Russ Doherty studied Film Screenwriting and Music Composition at the University of California Santa Barbara. His work is published or forthcoming in Broken Plate, Evening Street Review, Glint Literary Journal, Havik, Lunaris Review, Potato Soup Journal, and Summerset Review. 
On Monday, Gordon eats lunch alone on the patio of the Bayside Café in Morro Bay. His mind drifts back to the sweltering days in Afghanistan on his tour of duty. Halfway through his second glass of wine, the raven-haired waitress bends over to pick up a fork, exposing a dragon tattoo flowing down her spine and into her pencil skirt. Gordon stops eating his salmon sandwich and waves to the mysterious waitress.
“Can I help you?” She smiles and fluffs her hair.
“I couldn’t help noticing your dragon.” He hopes his impulse doesn’t lead to trouble.
She stares at him, pulls out her order pad, and starts writing. Gordon is disappointed that she’s making out his check, a not-so-subtle hint that he’s out of line. She hands the check to him. Next to the total, she’s written her name, Renee, and her phone number. She winks at him and walks away. Gordon thinks life is better than it was a minute ago.
After a year, Gordon still likes his girlfriend, Laura, but feels caged by her quiet hopes. She’d said, “I’m ready to move in with you.” He isn’t. And while he’s never strayed physically from her, he’s thought about it. Gordon has wavy hair, is mid-thirties, and drives a Lexus SUV. He loves beauty, and girls adore his blue eyes. He hides his recurring Army nightmares and their ghosts. Perhaps he’ll feel happier after talking to this dragon lady.
***
Renee’s apartment, on the second floor with a deck overlooking Cayucos Beach, is nicer than Gordon’s house. A full moon caresses the ocean. He rings the bell as Phoebe Bridgers’ song “Kyoto” spills out an open window. He wonders if Renee knows the song is about Phoebe’s estrangement from her alcoholic father.
Renee is a visual artist. Her canvases fill the red-painted walls of the apartment. She paints predators: lions, wolves, snakes, and beautiful dragons.
“Why predators?” Gordon asks.
“They cut the weak out of the herd and go after them.”
Gordon doesn’t like that answer. But he pushes on, trying to move the conversation on to the unveiling of the tattoo. He points to the painting of a dragon. “Did you use that painting as the model for your tattoo?” She silently stares. Gordon wonders if he’s made a mistake.
Suddenly Renee turns her back and undresses. The spectacular tattoo is an exact copy of her painting. “I have another one in the bedroom.” She takes his hand and he allows her to pull him into her bedroom. As he does so, Laura’s words echo in his head: “You live in the past too much.”
Afterward, Gordon is unhinged. His mind, his clothes, his body are all over the place. But he feels so alive. Never has he experienced such passionate beauty before. Renee makes love with the opposite of Laura’s calmness. He wanders half-dressed into the living room, hands shaking, buttoning his shirt, wondering how far Renee wants to go with this. She comes out wearing a kimono. Gordon looks out the front window. A guy sits in a black SUV, smoking a cigar.
“Who the hell’s that?” Gordon points. He feels his current life slipping away.
“Oh, that’s my old boyfriend. He likes to keep tabs on me.”
Gordon’s heart jumps. His mind tries to compute how long her ex has been outside. Was he there when Gordon rang Renee’s bell? Did he hear them in the bedroom?
“He stalks you?” Gordon is not happy about this revelation.
“He’s harmless. Would you like to go out for dinner?”
Gordon is even more confused than when he left the bedroom. Now he feels she’s testing him, skipping away from the subject of the ex-boyfriend to dinner. Seeing how he responds.
“You know I’m a chef, right?”
“Yeah, one of the girls at work told me.”
“My restaurant is only open Wednesday through Sunday. But I could cook for you here.”
“I’d rather go out.”
Gordon knows every good restaurant between Pismo Beach and Big Sur. He decides they should go where no one knows him. No sense of any reports getting back to Laura. “How about Lunada, with the gardens, up on Ocean? Those private tables are nice, surrounded by hedges; there’s moonlight.” He gestures upward.
“I’d like that.”
He wonders how they’ll get past her ex.
***
The menu explains the meaning of Lunada: a gathering that takes place outdoors on the evening of a full moon. Night-blooming jasmine perfumes the air. Gordon feels torn about what he’s doing to Laura by pursuing Renee, but he can’t seem to stop. At least Renee’s ex didn’t follow them. Gordon recommends the lobster-avocado egg rolls and the duck with a nice bottle of pinot noir.
Renee agrees and excuses herself to go to the bathroom. While she’s gone the hostess comes over and says she knows Laura. Now Laura’s gonna find out anyway. Gordon’s hosed.
Over the egg rolls, dreading his future, Gordon asks Renee about the ex-boyfriend.
“He’s called Thunder, he has PTSD and drinks a lot, but he’s working through it, doing charity work.” She frowns, as if maybe she said too much.
“That’s a strange name.” He and Thunder have something in common. Gordon then decides Renee doesn’t need to know of his nightmares.
“He earned his nickname as a Marine in Afghanistan flying helicopters. His buddies said he brought thunder down on Al-Qaeda. He talks about it—a lot.”
Gordon says, “When the Twin Towers came down, lots of us ended up in Afghanistan, wanting to do our part. Some didn’t get over it.”
Gordon’s never sure about the choices he makes. And Laura was one of those choices, just like Renee is. Any choice can be the wrong one.
Switching subjects, Gordon tells her a little-known fact. “Cayucos is the Spanish word for canoe.”
Renee says, “I think you just made that up.”
“Nope, that’s why I call my restaurant Canoes. We have a few Spanish dishes on the menu to make it authentic: pintxos, patatas bravas, gambas, that sort of stuff.”
“I’ve never heard of those dishes.”
“Well, I’ll just have to make some for you then. The restaurant isn’t open to the public tomorrow. But I’ll take you there as my guest and make us a romantic dinner for two.”
“That sounds wonderful.”
Gordon balances his feelings for Renee against what’s going to happen when Laura confronts him. She’ll be distraught. Is this what he wants? What happened to his feelings for Laura? Perhaps he’s gone too far with Renee to pull back. Confused, he blocks those thoughts.
Gordon says, “Do you show your paintings anywhere?”
“I’m thinking of opening a gallery.” She goes silent again.
Gordon wonders if she’s also calculating her future.
The duck and the pinot noir are perfect and put a nice glow on the evening. After the plates are removed, Gordon says, “I love living in Cayucos with all the outdoor sports. It’s a far cry from having to cook in the Afghan heat.” He recalls the mountains of food they threw away. The day the MPs beat the local kids getting at the food in the Army dumpsters—that was the worst. Those kids haunt his dreams. He wonders if the ugly US occupation was good for anyone.
Renee says maybe they can visit an art museum sometime.
Gordon nods and says, “Let’s visit Harmony tomorrow and see the galleries.”
She agrees.
As he signs his credit card receipt for dinner, he’s tapped on his shoulder. He looks up and it’s Thunder.
Thunder takes a large, unlit cigar out of his mouth and points it at Gordon. “I’ll thank you for staying away from my girlfriend.” He has a southern drawl, stinks of vodka, and is much bigger outside his SUV. Gordon worries being with Renee will be trouble. Maybe Laura is enough.
“You can’t keep doing this,” says Renee.
“She don’t always tell the truth,” Thunder says. He’s swaying.
“You’re drunk; please leave us alone,” Renee says.
When they stand to leave, Gordon has to look up to see into Thunder’s eyes. Then he wishes he hadn’t. Thunder’s bushy eyebrows furl and crawl all over his forehead. Gordon wonders how Thunder found them at Lunada when he hadn’t followed them from Renee’s place.
Thunder dances his fingers across Gordon’s chest.
Gordon says to Renee, “You ever think of calling the police?”
She laughs. “On him? Be serious. He’s just a traumatized puppy dog.”
Gordon thinks he’s more like a rabid pit bull.
Renee sighs, “Give me your keys, Thunder. You’re too drunk to drive.”
Thunder leers at Gordon, as if he just got what he wanted. He hands his keys to Renee.
Renee shrugs at Gordon. “Sorry. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She leads Thunder away.
Gordon is floored; he can’t believe she left with Thunder. He decides to talk to Renee about where their relationship is going. He feels like Bruce Springsteen—She’s a freight train running through the middle of my chest… He calls her twice, three times, on his cell phone. She doesn’t answer.
***
Next day in the car, on the way to Harmony, Gordon asks what happened.
“Nothing. I dropped him off at his house and walked home. I turned my phone off, went to bed, and slept well. Had a nice evening with you and did my good deed for the day getting Thunder off the road.”
Gordon thinks Renee is some force of nature. Can he handle dating a hurricane?
Harmony, population eighteen, smells of sagebrush. The blown glass at Harmony Glass Studio is beautiful: large pieces, small pieces, flashes of yellows, reds, and greens, curves, angles, and shadows. Gordon points to a vase and tells Renee he owns one by Dale Chihuly.
Gordon gets a text from Laura: Call Me! So now she knows. He turns his phone off.
“Who’s Dale Chihuly?” Renee asks Gordon and the bearded glass artist showing off his work.
The artist responds, “We don’t like Chihuly around here. He’s sucked the air out of the blown glass market. He’s all anyone talks about. None of the rest of us can sell anything. Everyone wants Chihuly glass.” His torn overalls are patterned with dirt and colors and burns. His name tag says Art! with an exclamation mark.
Gordon thinks Art!’s statement is skewed. “I met Chihuly once. He seemed like a nice guy.” If the prices were cheaper, he might buy one of Art!’s vases. But he likes the fact the studio is also playing Phoebe Bridgers’ music. It reminds him of Renee’s apartment last night. He turns to Renee. “I can’t believe we only met twenty-four hours ago.”
Renee looks to Gordon as if she’s seeing him anew. “Twenty-four hours is a lifetime.”
But Art! won’t let go of Chihuly. “He’s not nice. Chihuly’s missing an eye. He sketches out what he wants done, and someone else in his studio actually blows the glass for him. Even though he doesn’t do the work, he makes millions.”
Gordon hears jealousy and turns to Renee. “I saw Chihuly’s show at the Santa Barbara Museum of Art. His multicolored glass pieces covered the ceiling of the main room: vases and shells and reeds and plants and flowers and chandeliers. Everything made out of blown glass. It took my breath away.”
Gordon outlines the story with his hands above his head, remembering the overwhelming sense of moving from dark to light, of seeing new possibilities in light. He felt free of his demons for a while and never saw beauty the same way again.
“The installation was eight feet up in the air above a false ceiling of thick sheets of Plexiglas. The glass artworks were piled three- to four-feet deep on top of one another, spread out across the twenty-by-sixty-foot ceiling. The room was dark, and rotating colored lights shone through from above all the glass. It felt like I was walking underwater across a flowing sea of refracted colors. It was life-changing. I’ve never seen or experienced anything like that art show. I’d wasted my life up to then compared to what Chihuly had done with his. I became a new person. It’s one of the reasons I decided to fulfill my dream of becoming a chef.”
Art! says, “Everyone says that about Chihuly: life-changing, what a load of shit.”
“Well, you can buy a vase, but you can’t buy that experience. You have to live it.” Gordon thinks he knows something about life-changing experiences. He’s living one right now.
He takes Renee’s hand. “Let’s go make some tapas.”
***
At the restaurant Gordon prepares to talk about their relationship. He brings her to the bar, turns on quiet Erik Satie music, lays down two place settings. He lights some candles. It’s low-lit, beautiful, musical, and intimate. He opens a bottle of Moët champagne and they toast. Gordon puts his apron on and starts making scallops in a white wine, shallot, and green onion sauce. He puts bacon in a fry pan and pulls out a few skewers.
“Smells like Paris,” Renee says.
“When I was studying at Cordon Bleu in Pasadena, I always overcooked the fish, especially shellfish. The head chef would yell at me in French; he was from Burgundy. I didn’t know what he was saying. I just knew I was doing something wrong. Finally I got it right.”
“Isn’t that kind of nerdy, French cooking school?” She squints at him.
“Yeah, but you gotta start somewhere, whether it’s school or a relationship.” Gordon decides now’s the time to tell Renee about Laura.
“Hey, look, I need to say something. I think we got off on the wrong foot. I’m sort of in a relationship already, and I know I should’ve told you sooner, but things happened pretty fast yesterday. So I just wanted to make sure you knew everything about me.” Well, not everything.
“That’s convenient, leaving your current relationship out of our conversation yesterday. You wanted to see my dragon tattoo and have sex with me, but you didn’t necessarily want to tell me the truth about your availability. It might have interrupted the flow.”
“I apologize.” Gordon feels uncomfortable, but he keeps cooking. “Over champagne and scallops.”
“Something like that.” “Could Thunder have anything to do with this apology?”
“He does seem to keep showing up.”
The front door opens and Laura walks in. Dressed in shorts, sandals, and a T-shirt, she’s blonde, shorter, and nowhere near as exotic as Renee. “Gordon, what are you doing here? I saw your Lexus in the parking lot, and you didn’t call me back…” Her voice trails off as she clocks Renee.
“It’s not what it seems,” Gordon says.
“He was just telling me the same thing,” Renee says to Laura.
Laura looks from Renee back to Gordon, and her eyes start to tear. The door opens behind her, and Thunder walks in with a cigar in his hand.
“You’re sure taking your sweet time,” he says to Renee.
“Who are you?” Laura says to him. Then she turns. “Gordon, what’s going on?”
Gordon glares at Renee. “How the hell did he know where to find us?” He looks distraught.
“This isn’t what it seems.” Renee smiles.
Thunder gently takes Laura’s arm and sits her on a stool. Gordon stops cooking as his nerve endings vibrate. Before he can say anything, Thunder says, “Calm down, I’m just here for clarification.”
“You don’t need to be so dramatic,” Renee says. “We’re not here to rob them.”
Thunder points to Laura. “What’s she doing here? I thought she was the leverage?”
“Not anymore apparently. She wasn’t supposed to be here.” Renee motions to Laura. “This town is too small to keep an affair secret anyway.” “Renee, what the hell is going on?” Gordon asks.
Thunder grabs a fork. He leans over and picks a scallop out of the pan and eats it. “Damn, that’s good.”
“What’s happening?” Laura is lost.
Thunder looks at Renee. “Why are you taking so long with this one?”
“It’s only day two.”
“You didn’t have to fuck him.”
“You shouldn’t have come home early. Anyway, our relationship is still over.”
“Look, I said I was sorry.”
“I’ve been hearing that a lot lately.”
Gordon’s head swivels back and forth as he listens to them reveal what he and Renee did. Laura’s eyes narrow and focus on Gordon. He feels like he’s living one of his nightmares.
Renee takes a deep breath and looks at Gordon. “Thunder raises money for Afghan orphans to help with his PTSD, and to atone for killing large numbers of their parents. I thought maybe you’d donate to his cause if I threatened to tell your girlfriend you were two-timing her.”
“You already knew I had a girlfriend?”
“Every woman in Cayucos knows you have a girlfriend.”
Gordon desperately tries to process this information. “I’m confused.”
Renee says, “Aren’t we all? I didn’t expect what happened yesterday. All Thunder and I do is help people, help others. When do we get to help ourselves? So I helped myself to you, to a nice-dressed guy who smelled of salmon instead of cigars.”
Gordon looks at Laura with remorse. He can’t explain fast enough. “Laura, I didn’t mean for things to turn out this way. And I did love you, even though I was unfaithful. It was Renee’s tattoo that turned my head. I was mesmerized.”
Laura turns to Renee. Renee lifts the back of her blouse. Laura stares at the dragon.
“So what does cook-boy here have that can help us?” Thunder says.
Renee looks at Gordon. “He says he has a vase by some famous glass artist.”
As Gordon thinks through this puzzle, he arrives at a new equation: Sell his gorgeous Chihuly vase, feed starving Afghan kids—stop his nightmares.
“If I sell the vase and give you the money, will you just leave me alone?”
Thunder says, “How much is it worth?”
“Seventy-five hundred.” Gordon thinks Chihuly certainly is life-changing.
Renee nods her head. Thunder shrugs.
“Seriously, you’re going to sell your Chihuly vase?” Laura says to Gordon.
“We’re all kind of responsible for that war,” Gordon says. “I know we pulled out, but kids are starving over there, and the economy has gone to shit. Girls can’t go to school. Women all have to wear burqas. Once Al-Qaeda was defeated, we should’ve just got the hell out of there. Now we’ve ruined their country.”
“Those people need help,” Laura says. “But so do you.” She’s crying again.
All eyes are on Gordon: Renee, Thunder, Laura, and his internal ghosts.
He hesitates. “I’ll feel better if I do this. It’ll balance out for what I didn’t do in Afghanistan. And maybe for what I couldn’t give to Laura.” As he talks, Gordon wonders if what he’s saying is true. He sees his choice in stark terms: tame Renee or be caged himself. He decides his future has arrived. He’d rather tame the beautiful dragon.
***
Five years later, the neon sign outside the restaurant says Beautiful Things. Inside, blown-glass chandeliers hang from the ceiling, glass vases with glass flowers adorn the tables, and glass sconces grace the walls. The entranceway is a miniature of the exhibit from the Santa Barbara Museum of Art, complete with rotating lights and the undersea effect. Satie’s music plays quietly.
Renee kisses Gordon in the kitchen as she picks up some dishes. They both smile at each other, but then Renee turns and Gordon’s smile disappears.
She walks into the dining room. On the walls are her predator paintings—all for sale. The restaurant is packed.
Laura and Thunder sit together at a table with their two adopted Afghan children. Renee deposits the plates of skewered scallops and bacon in front of them.
There’s an Afghan girl at the hostess desk. Art! from Harmony Glass walks in the front door with his Afghan wife on his arm. The hostess steps out from behind the desk, hugs her sister, and shows them to their table.
Gordon walks out from the kitchen and surveys the dining room. His new life has cured the nightmares, but Renee doesn’t want children. Gordon looks at Laura and Thunder’s family with remorse.
He wonders if he’s chosen the right future.