To outsiders, the concept of arranged marriages may seem odd. Too controlling, some say. No respect for free will. But the truth is, by taking the responsibility of finding me a husband my parents are relieving me of the greatest pressure of all. I can see that now, and I must never forget that they only want what is best for me.
So what of Wang Cheng, you may wonder. Well, when I told him he cried. Then he got angry and called me names. In three years I had never seen that side of him before. He was always so placid and mild-mannered. I told him to move on, find another girl, start afresh. He is still young, strong and handsome.
But I know he will never forgive me for what I am about to do. I only hope this yearning for him fades. I think it will. At first I was reluctant to give him up, reluctant to leave China. I was scared and hesitant, my mind filled with doubt. Now I accept how lucky I am. I have a future away from the fields and the life of peasantry waiting for me. There is no place in my world for love. Love only hurts. It distracts you from your true purpose.
How ironic that I should spend so much time and energy learning English, then move to Germany. I suppose I will have to learn German now. At least it will give me something to do to pass the time. As my departure date looms I find myself wondering… do they eat toads in Germany? It tastes similar to chicken. It’s not as delicious or fulfilling as that plump bird, but it will do. If you’ve ever eaten toad, you would know.
Christian Saunders writes fiction as C.M. Saunders, is a freelance journalist and editor from south Wales. His work has appeared in the Fortean Times, the Literary Hatchet, ParABnormal, Fantastic Horror, Haunted MTL, Feverish Fiction, Crimson Streets and many many more. He also has held staff positions at several leading UK magazines ranging from Staff Writer to Associate Editor. His books have been both traditionally and independently published, the latest release being Tethered on Terror Tract Publishing. Christian can be found online at cmsaunders.wordpress.com and tweets at @CMSaunders01.