It was another year before we were formally introduced to each other’s parents. We took our time with that, even hiding our relationship from them for a while, though I hated keeping it secret. I knew my parents would just say we were too young for such frivolities and I should concentrate on my school work instead. But to my surprise, when we finally were introduced we both passed the myriad unspoken and unseen tests, and our respective parents were happy to let us continue our budding romance.
At least, on the face of it they were. Little did I know that even then, forces beyond our control were conspiring against us. Although they said they thought Wang Chen was a nice boy, my parents made it known that they wanted me to do better. They always want better. My parent’s ambitions were being projected onto me. Onwards, ever upwards, toward the sky.
There was a friend of my father’s from the same part of town who had a son, named Gao Tao. The name means ‘tall and strong’. When they received the payout from the government Gao Tao’s parents sent him to Germany to study to become a doctor. Now, he was in his last year of medical school. When he graduated he planned to stay in Germany for five years or more where the salary for a doctor is much higher than in China, before returning to settle in the Motherland. It seemed a good plan. Gao Tao would be able to afford to send money home to his parents and build a life for himself. As a doctor, no less.
After a family meeting, to which I was not invited, it was decided that Gao Tao and I should marry, and I was to move to Germany to birth his child and help him manage his busy life. Yes, just like that.
Of course, I protested furiously. I stomped my feet and cried. But what can I do? Stay in Loudi and be with Wang Chen, against my parent’s wishes? Or should I give up everything I have ever known and move to another country to marry a man I had never even met?
Should I choose love over security? To do so would be very selfish of me. I have to consider not just myself, but my parent’s future. And also the quality of life my own child (children?) will be able to have. People often say that Chinese society is interdependent, rather than independent, with everyone relying on everyone else. Now I can see it is true. Everyone leans on each other. It makes the fabric of society strong.