Mom said old shoes were the missionary relics and that I should cherish them. I wondered if Christ thought about shoes this way. With all that dirt road walking, he must have said something about shoes. Feet cleaning would have been thrice-daily maintenance. I heard a comedian say masturbating was like maintenance for men, just so they could focus on other things. I heard it years ago, but it stayed in my brain for no reason.
I trudged through small gardens and lawns as perfect as families. Large trucks and garages were full of tools. When dad wasn’t at the office, he was working on home projects using tools he bought from his time at the office. This Sunday afternoon walk was a glimpse into the near future. Me, an F-150 owner with a blonde wife that tends the children and redecorates. Maybe she’ll paint our front door yellow, or an exciting red, depending on the color of the paneling. She would wear a white dress that slipped so far up her leg that she would have to pull it down. It was easy to get a boner when hungry, so I stayed focused up the street, placing one foot in front of another. I was doing God’s will.
I passed brass door knockers and tiny windmills in front gardens. White pillars with grown ivy lined front porches. I knocked the knocker, and a girl my age opened the door and deferred me to her father, who was in the kitchen fumbling in his wallet. He commented that they are eating breakfast and thank you but we’ll have to fill out the rest of the offering at church. He sent me with a twenty and a signature to the next house.
I waved and she waved, then I was back out with ten envelopes. “Hey!” I turned around and another girl (could it be that I was wanted?) approached. She wore a loose black t-shirt. “You’re from the church?” she said. I looked down at my blue and red striped tie and polished, worn shoes. “Yeah the one down there.”
“I just wanted to say sorry about the yelling back there.” She pointed to the house with the metal gate that slammed in my face.
“No problem.” I held out my hand and she took the shake. Formality felt appropriate. “Tanner.”